First thing this morning when I came in, there was a letter on my keyboard that read "Where is Mr. Potatohead? Tell him to show his ugly mug or his tots are fried." His ear was enclosed as well.

Then later in the day, a "newspaper article" of sorts arrived (shown right). The picture's caption reads "After reading recent accounts of the mysterious disappearance, a local resident snapped this picture of Potatohead flagging down motorists." The headline reads "Fugitive Spud Spotted" with the underline "Witnesses report missing Potatohead seen in Brookfield."

As for the rest:

By Julienne French
Special to the Obfuscated Prose

Police now believe the peeled spud found Friday morning is not Mr. Potatohead.

New information comes after a photo was circulated to The Obfuscated Prose showing the legume on the lam, apparently hitchhiking in the direction of Milwaukee.

Authorities refuse to speculate on the whereabout of Mr. Potatohead, but this writer's investigation indicates the russet was heading for Gen. Mitchell Airport in Milwaukee.

Dr. Emil Prudhomme, the county medical examiner who investigated the body, said what was believed to be the remains of the mising vegetable was actually remnants of commercially produced chips with no common DNA, and that the ruse was intended to throw authorities off the track and buy time for an escape. "Seems like he taken his twice-shoot shotgun and headed for them hills or into the bayou, gar-on-tee!" said Prudhomme.